Working Woman's Wisdom

30.  Stop saying you don't have the time, when more likely, you just don't have the interest. Let's do the math.  There are 168 hours in a week.  You should sleep for 56 of them (8 hours a night.).  You probably need 2 hours a day for eating alone, dressing, bathing, etc. You may work 50 hours a week (few people work more than that, no matter what they tell their friends and bosses).  So you have 48 hours a week, or 7 hours a day, left to spend with your family, read (on the train or listen to audio in the car), clean your house, work out, learn something new or pursue a hobby.  There's more time than you think.

31.  Corollary to #30 - Turn off the television.  There is something soporific about television.  It lulls you into thinking it is important when typically most people can't remember what they saw the next day.  It eats up precious hours.  It makes you eat junk food.  It's the devil.

32. Corollary to #31 - Move.  The best way to deal with being in a rut is to walk out of it.  Feeling low - move. The motion will lift you up.  Walk, run, dance, stretch, swim, do martial arts, bounce (carefully) on a trampoline.  Our bodies were meant for motion and we function best, we think best, when we move to the best of our ability. While sitting and meditating may soothe the mind, moving energizes the body and sends clear action signals to the brain.  Move it!

27.  Don't make your life public - unless you are a celebrity or a politician (and ask how that's working for them.) Your life is searchable.  Everything you say and every photo you share online is available not only to your friends but also to your prospective employers, present employers, love interests and children.  Think about whether you would send that photo, cartoon or joke to your local newspaper (if you still have one) and ask them to publish it on the front page - because that is what you are doing when you put it on Facebook or Twitter.  Just saying.

28. Stop, Listen, Think. If someone offers you feedback, stop and listen.  Think about the feedback - not about your response.  Thank them for sharing their perspective and ask for time to think some more about their input.  Schedule a meeting to follow-up and discuss their insights and what the subsequent actions might be.  Stephen Covey said, " Because most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand." We miss the opportunity to be open and receptive.

29.  Don't Cuss.  Just don't.  It doesn't look good.  It doesn't sound good.  It doesn't do good.

24.  Do something nice for someone.  Do something nice for someone without them asking.  Try to do this every day.  It might be a little thing like holding the door for 10 seconds and not letting it close in someone's face (I hate that), letting someone into your lane in traffic, or waving to the person who lets you in.  Maybe it's a big thing, like helping someone with a problem.  Being kind sends good signals to your brain about abundance and generates gratitude.  Be kind - it's a very inexpensive thing to do and the payback is enormous.  Perhaps someone will say thank you to you, or perhaps the universe will add to the gold stars in your karma account.  Either way, you'll know you did good.

25. Treat email as real communications - not an excuse to ignore all the rules of grammar.  If you are writing to someone at work, your email is a business communication.  It should be spell checked, and have capitalization and punctuation.  It should reflect the personal quality of your work.  I know that writing emails with your thumbs on smartphones is a major challenge, but take a shot at reading the message before you send it and checking those awful auto spell checker corrections.  That way you don't have to apologize later.

26.  Don't carry a suitcase as a pocketbook to work.  I never realized how distracting my "shopper's bag", my expensive "shopper's bag", was to the executives around me, until my boss asked if it was a suitcase.  There he was, all buttoned up, and I'm toting something that he thinks contains all my worldly goods.  Is it any of his business?  No.  Does he control my performance review, bonus and career succession?  Yes.  Will this change the inflection of my career? No.  Still, I found a really nice clutch I like a lot (and it tucks nicely into my big bag after work.)

23.  Live by your BIG list, "do" your to-do list.  You should have a BIG list - a list of dreams, aspirations and planned learning and accomplishments.  This is the list you should look at before you go to sleep or before you soak in the tub.  This is the list that you let your brain contemplate in quiet moments.  You'll be surprised by the "bursts of insight" you'll experience if you submit these dreams to the processor that is your brain.  Meanwhile, keep your to-do lists to manage the daily tasks and enjoy checking them off!

24.  Read something good.  It seems the world is splitting into readers and non-readers, and the non-readers are missing out.  Reading is good.  It engages your mind for a longer period of time than the celebrity news, it takes you places you might not otherwise visit, and it immerses you in language you might not otherwise read.  There are great topical books on business marketing, innovation, technology, leadership.  Many successful business leaders have written biographies sharing their decision making formulas.  Even the poor maligned novel provides insight into other places and cultures.  Read something good that you can talk about during a break.  Read something good - it's like candy for your brain.  (There are so many good books - see our Reading and Resources page).

20.   Your office (or cubicle) is not your family room.  Work is work, and a few photos of your family are nice to keep near you.  It is not necessary, or appropriate, to keep your child's preschool art portfolio on the walls (unless you work in a preschool), nor do you need photos of the entire family tree.  If people are distracted by the quantity of personal things in your office, they will think that you are likewise distracted. It's spring - time to declutter!

21.  Don't be wild and crazy at work.  That should be enough said but surprisingly it's not.  Sometimes we spend so much time at work we let our professional and personal personas get confused.  You probably know this, but your friends are a lot more forgiving of that "silly" moment than your boss - or HR.

22.  Polish your shoes and fix the heels.  Winter, even in SoCal, can be tough on shoes.  Take a look at your shoe wardrobe and make a run to the shoemaker with the ones that need a little love.  The shoemaker will even polish the leather ones and get water stains out.  Guys love getting their shoes shined - maybe because their feet and shoes are so prominent.  They notice scruffy shoes.

17.  Learn Something New Every Season.  Don't stop learning, exploring or questioning.  Look back at pictures of yourself at 4,5,6 years old.  Odds are, your favorite question then was "Why?"  As annoying as your family may have found it, it's a great question.  You were in charge of your learning.  When do we stop learning to ask "Why"?  Sometimes I think that when we stop asking, we begin the process of being programmed by schools and traditional learning techniques.  Many people turn responsibility for their learning over to their school, university or employer and stop taking personal accountability for what they know.  Don't do that!  (See #13.)

18.  Smile - a lot.  A pleasant expression is always more positive to have around.  Smiling means you are in control, you are happy and willing to share.  Smiling changes your physiology and that of those around you.

19.  Send thank-you notes. Acknowledge other people's thoughtfulness and kindness.  If you can, send it on real paper. Sometimes you will touch a person's heart, and they will save the note and the appreciation it contains for a grayer day.  If you can't manage paper, a well written e-mail is a lesser but sufficient medium - and you can always hope they print it out to keep.  Saying thank you is a core wisdom.

Maxim Z7. "Don't make senior management do staff work".  This correlates to Maxim Z6.  Don't turn in work without providing an analysis of the situation and options, and your recommendation(s).  I can't tell you how often I see people provide a status report or project update that ends with a reporting of the data.  There is no analysis (eg, transforming the data into information), no implications, no options to improve or capitalize on the situation, or recommendations on the course of action.  Don't assume that the higher salary grade will solve your problem.  Why not?  A few reasons.  Since they know less than you about the project, they will either (1) get annoyed with you (not good), (2) send you back to finish the work (embarrassing and not good), (3) come up with their own recommendation that you will have to live with (good chance that this will not be good and will be frustrating to implement).  What's your option?  Briefly define options for a course of action, describe the advantages, disadvantages of each, and recommend the one you think works best.  If the bosses don't like it, they will have to explain why and provide direction.  Odds are, they will like your recommendation and you can move forward with something you think is right and can be implemented.

16.  Don't gossip.  Really.  Sure it feels fun and everybody is doing it - but the chance that you will hurt or offend someone is real.  Don't gossip at work.  Sure, knowing the "dirt" makes you the center of attention - for a moment.  The chance that you will be attributed as the source of rumors and bad feeling is real - and not good for you long-term.  Take the high road.

13.  Envision your life.  This is big!  After lo these many years, I have finally figured out that if you don't envision the life you want, name your dreams and admit to your aspirations, you will wind up living someone else's life. Can I say it again - this is important!  Write your dreams down on paper.  Try dreams on for size.  Draw a picture, clip out photos from magazines and newspapers, read about inspiring women who have been successful.  Adding this "envisioning" ingredient to your daily life will open your mind and heart to possibilities.  Don't be afraid to dream and dream big.  Share your dream with people you trust.  If you don't know what you want, there is scant chance that you will get it.

10.  Cultivate Your Network Every Day.  Networks are valuable to you, to your career and to your employer.  Treasure your network. Your network enables you to learn more, access others and establish partnerships.  Throughout your career, your networking contacts will develop into relationships that include colleagues, opportunities and professional prospects. (According to the Department of Labor, networking accounts for at least 69% of all annual hires.)  Don't wait until you need people to do you a favor before you reach out to them.  Connect with people and nurture the relationships every day.

11. Stand Up Straight.  Yes, your parents told you the same thing, so did your teachers.  Ever wonder why?  Your body language tells the world about who you really are.  If you flop in the chair - you're exhausted.  If you roll your eyes (and don't think everyone doesn't see that!), you're bored.  If you can't bother to sit up staight, you're disinterested.  You know all this, yet why do I see this behavior in every meeting I attend.  If you don't want to be there - trust me, most team leaders will find someone else who does.

12.  Stand Up Straight.  No, this is not a typo. It's so important that this one gets two entries.  Ever wonder why your parents and teachers told you to stand up straight?  Because your body language tells your mind who you really are.  Your posture standing, sitting and walking tells your brain (and the world) whether you are proud and confident in your abilities, or a shrinking violet who wants to go unnoticed.  How do you want to be seen?

5.   Raise Your Hand.  It's just like school.  You get extra points for being prepared, participating and contributing.  Show your knowledge, share your opinion - but don't hog the stage.

6.  There Are No Casual Days.  You never know which day you will meet an important client, prospect, executive or contact.  Don't decide that today you can look like something the cat forgot because it doesn't matter.  You are going to work - it matters!

7.  It's Never Too Late to Start the Day Over.  Maybe its been a lousy day - you're late, you feel stressed, annoyed or disorganized.  Breathe deep, regroup and recover.  Don't assume that the next minute has to be lost - and certainly don't ever write off the day.  Go to the ladies room, comb your hair, fix your lipstick and voila!   It's a new day! 

1.  Wear Heels.  You're a girl at any age, and wearing heels separates you from the "boys" - in a good way.  Heels make you walk differently, with intention, and encourage you to stand up straight.  Heels give you presence.  Wear heels with pointy or rounded toes, not ones that make your foot look like a brick.  Try some on and find the comfortable ones.  They don't have to be high, and they shouldn't be strappy sandals or metallic - and they should never be the ones you wear out to party!

2.  Wear Makeup.   It's a divine gift, not a penance.  You're a girl at any age, remember, and wearing makeup is another way to separate you from the "boys" - in a good way... Makeup gives women such an advantage that men are starting to buy tinted moisturizers to get the same effect.  Makeup makes you look brighter and less tired.  (And face it, how often are you exhausted?)  It makes you look put together.  If you never learned how to wear makeup, go to the department store beauty counter and ask for help getting a corporate look.  Only buy half of what they recommend, they'll still be delighted with you.  Ask them to write down the instructions.  You don't have to wear a lot, and smokey eyes don't belong in the office.  Save the lavish make-up to wear with those party heels.

3.  Wear Business Clothes to Work.  Yes, I know that in a business casual environment, the guys can get by in their golf clothes, or their company logo shirt and khakis.  But you are not a guy, and you need to wear nicer clothes to go with those heels and the makeup.  When you dress nicely, in a sweater set and slacks (not capris), a jacket and skirt - you are ready for any opportunity: to be invited to a senior meeting, meet with a client or a key vendor.  You look like the person in charge.  The right clothes give you power from the inside out.

4.  Stretch Yourself.  Yes, yoga or Pilates are great.  But also stretch your mind and your abilities by learning something new.  Throughout our lives, we need to keep growing and developing.  Learn something new at work - volunteer to be on a committee and contribute.  Learn something new for yourself - haven't you always wanted to speak Italian?  Stretch!  Learning invigorates and energizes you -- and energy attracts attention.  Remember grade school when they were picking teams, it's the same thing now.  Everyone wants the best player on their team.  Keep improving your game.

Maxim Z1 - "If you're not driving the bus, don't bitch about where it's going." My managers heard it everytime they complained about  someone else not doing their job, the team coming in late on a milestone, or features being cut from a new release.  Complaining feels good and solves nothing.  Lead from the front, not from the back seat.  If a deliverable that you are responsible for is not headed in the right direction on time, quality or content - figure out the problem, get in front of it and lead.  Leading means finding solutions, working through issues, or pitching in and personally demonstrating the right commitment.  And don't diminish your impact by bitching along the way.  (This goes for guys as well.)